Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Happiness....

Sorry random emotional thoughts in the early morning...............

So I have been thinking about how I can be more positive in my life. It has been somewhat of a stressful time with the economy the way it is, Travis looking for a new job, and a new baby on the way. I often wonder if I will be a good mom who is patient and loving. I worry that I won't have a lot talents or knowledge to offer to my kids. I actually cried the other day because I had a brain fart and couldn't remember "twinkle twinkle little star" and was convinced that would make me a bad mom. Who can't sing that song to their child? Yeah I'm a little hormonal right now. I pray that I will learn to not be so controlling and perfectionistic :)

I have always liked nice things..nice clothes, nice houses, nice furniture, but I have these perfect moments when I'm in my little apartment with none of those things with Travis and I realize it's about finding happiness in the little things. I had this overwhelming feeling last night/this morning that I have been blessed with an amazing, patient, kind husband who loves me and treats me better than I deserve. I have an awesome marriage that is full of trust and love. I have a new beautiful baby on the way. I have family and friends who love me.

I need to count my blessings and not be overwhelmed with worry and doubt about what the future holds. I need to be content about where I'm at in life right now and enjoy every minute of it.

I need to choose to have faith.....

Anyway, I can't express my feelings into words eloquently (not one of my gifts in life. ask Travis ha), but it helps to have a splattering of thoughts written down so I can look back on them from time to time. :)

5 comments:

Travis said...

My appologies to all for turning the blog into an inner-apartment message board. Bec, just wanted to tell you that you're amazing! You're going to be a fantastic Mom! You can't care as much as you do and suck at it. Not possible. Thanks for sticking with me through all the stress lately! I can't wait to see you hold our little guy for the first time later this month!!! Love you!!

Natalie said...

Becca, you're amazing and nobody worries about your parenting skills. but everybody worries about their own. im praying for bryant to get an early jump on things. love all y'all tons!

Abby said...

don't worry, this is all the hormones talking. i agree with natalie (whoever you are :o) everyone always worries about becoming a parent, no one will be judging you.

come over for a visit. it would do us both some good.

nat & aaron said...

read this and started crying. ha. love ya bec.....you're going to be a fantastic mom!!!! muah.

Dee said...

Everyone feels the same way. You just managed to put it into words. Somehow when it actually happens, all those mothering skills just kick in and you just manage to do it. You'll be great! I agree with Travis - "you can't care as much as you do and suck at it" (although I might have used different words ;)) Love you!!