Sunday, January 15, 2012

Rant.....


So my heart is hurting today. I'm usually not one to have an emotional breakdown on a very public place (such as this blog) but I feel like I need to let go of some heartache. Bryant has now started covering his ears in every public place he goes due to his sensitivity to sound and social anxiety with crowds. We took him to nursery today and it broke my heart to see him in a corner by himself covering his ears looking terrified. No one would go by him or try and comfort him. Ugh. I can't seem to find anyone is my neighborhood who I can be close friends with or will at least bring their kids over so Bryant can have more social opportunities. Maybe I just need to try harder. Who knows?

In other news, Bryant was assessed by the school district to see if he would qualify for the state run preschool. Apparently Bryant is super duper smart and scored in the 99th percentile for his cognitive abilities. Sweet huh? The lady assessing him said she had never seen a kid score so high and thought he was going to be absolutely brilliant. He scored very high in his language too, which was awesome because we have worked on it so much! He ended up qualifying for the preschool because he was so anxious with the interviewers. I hope this preschool can help him with his anxiety! The people from the school district thought Bryant had severe anxiety with no Aspergers and a sensory processing disorder. They recommend we wait until he's 5 to test him for sure, but I still think Aspergers fits him more. It's the same therapy either way so I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Anywho, this was a long rant. I just need to find my inner calm and have faith that everything will work out! Happy Sunday:) happy golden globes! Woot woot


Here is a video of Bryant and me hanging out. We're buddies. This will probably be boring for anyone except grandparents. I think he's pretty darn cute myself :)

13 comments:

Tim and Jennifer said...

I'm sorry! I can't imagine your heartache.

In other news, I'm not his grandparent and I think he's pretty cute as well :).

Angela and Mike said...

Um, he is A-dorable. And that TOTALLY counts for something. And WOW, he is super duper smart and can talk like crazy.

BUT, I feel your heartache. There is nothing like seeing your kid in the corner by themselves... and feeling anxious. I can relate :) And have cried over the same thing. I know you just want to help him...and you are doing such good things to help him. It is tough tough tough though.

Thinking of you girl.

The Dunns said...

Becca, I found a bunch of nursing girls blogs lately. I live in Lehi too and have a 3 year old little girl with social anxiety. If you ever want to play date it. Let me know!

Andrea said...

Hang in there Becca. If I lived closer, you and Bryant would be here every day!!!! Are there moms in your ward? Could you set up a playgroup and invite them to your house?! I was sick of Treyson not getting much social interaction and set up a Mommy preschool. LMK if you want any ideas!

Marce said...

This post made me cry. Like real tears. I always wish we loved close- but I especially wish it today. We could go to McDonald's and be bad moms letting our kids eat chicken nuggets and fries every day. And we could have late night bachelor parties where we put the kids to bed and eat big bowls of ice cream relieved to get a break. And we could just hang out and let our kids do their crazy stuff and love them anyway. Miss you always friend- hang in there!

Becky said...

hi becca. a friend of a friend here (actually multiple friends - we were at byu at the same time). although i feel a little uncomfortable posting as a stranger, the story you shared of your boy in nursery reminded me so much of my nephew that i had to share! my nephew (now 8, turning 9) was diagnosed with sensory a while ago. i remember going to a restaurant with our family and he walked in, covered his ears, and kept saying "my ears hurt! my ears hurt!" we've learned the SPD effects many different areas of one's life, and my sister found that occupational therapy worked wonders for him. helped him with anxiety and difficulties with things ranging from textures to jumping off a step. now that he's older, the SPD is still there but he's learned how to cope with it better and it doesn't seem to be as much of an issue. but believe me, it was before. he doesn't have aspergers but was recently diagnosed with something else. if it's not one thing, it's the next, right? i would be more than happy to pass along her information to you if you'd like. my email is rebecagiles at gmail dot com. hang in there and have faith! although i don't know first hand what you may be feeling, i do understand somewhat the pain and confusions you may have. all i know is that there are tools to help, and the key is trying out many different tools and figuring out which ones work and which don't. sounds like ur a great match for your son.

Katie Jo said...

love you and thinking of you!!!!

Christin Foscarini said...

Hey Becca,
Don't know if you remember me. I'm River's mom from sensory class. I'm so sorry you guys are going through this struggle! I know what you mean about just wanting to break down. Riv doesn't have the exact same issues as Bryant, but I know it is HARD! My care provider from kotm suggested I go to a parents support group at kotm on weds. @ 11:30. River will be attending a transition class at that same time so it kind of worked out perfectly. While he is at his class I will be able to attend the support group. Is Bryant going to be in the Transitions class? I hope so...if he is maybe you could come to the support group with me :) Good luck and you can email me if you ever just need someone to vent too or talk too.
christin.feller@gmail.com

Deborah said...

i'm so excited that you were able to get into the program. I think Bryant has been working so hard *as have you and Trav* and that you're all incredible. Ava misses Bryant and asks for him all the time. She's literally standing over me repeating over and over "mom i want to go see Bryant go message his mom. can you just text her mom i want to play with him RIGHT.NOW" We are always willing and up for the drive. Let me know.

Trisha said...

Hi sweet Becca! I'm sorry thing have been so tough for you guys; it is great that your cute little boy got into the state school!

trevorandsarahtaylor said...

I don't know you, but our husbands served together in Ecuador together. love reading your blog because it makes me feel not so alone in having a child with special needs. What you explained with Bryant in nursery is what I'm so fearful of with our baby. I wish we lived be each other so our kids could play and we could cry together. Ha! You sound like such a great Mommy and I'm sure Travis is a great Daddy. Your cute family is in our prayers!

deanna said...

Dude. He can come play with me and nieces and nephews (there's 5 of them) in Orem any time!
xoxoxo

Leah said...

Sorry to hear your frustration, and although is completely understandable I am sure it doesn't make it easier. Try to stay strong. keep in mind a diagnosis isn't a stagnate thing anyhow, it can change with his abilities and growth. Don't get hung up on labels because the only one that truly fits is Bryant. And if your ever up in our neck of the woods Lucy and I are more than down to hang out.